Zatanna's Smallville time has finally come, and she's looking all sorts of ridiculously sexy. Plus Dean and Sam inspire some Supernatural fanfic. And Tricia Helfer's back! Clips and spoilers below.
Chuck must choose between his brain powers and the love of his life, when he meets the scientist who created the mind meld machine. But more importantly Caprica Six is back to salve our BSG withdrawal symptoms - see Tricia Helfer meet Chuck, on NBC at 8 PM.
The hunt for Rebel continues and poor misguided Tracy may be caught in the fight for Rebel's identity and Angela has a sexy mature ladies pow wow with her old buddy played by Swoosie Kurtz. Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.
Enjoy the worlds most disgusting alien abduction scene ever, in Fire In The Sky at 6:30 PM on HBO.
Still no new Fringe this week. Walter, we miss you.
You're right, CW, nothing is more disgusting than a bug monster in an old person's skin, unless it has a cheerleader's wig and drives around in a Val Kilmer-voiced KITT, shudder... yes, that would be more frightening. This week Sam fights a old bug monster and feels guilty about lying to a girl way too hot for him, as boys often do. Reaper is on the CW at 8 PM.
A exoskeleton tuxedo turns an unwitting chauffeur (Jackie Chan) into a secret agent. Laughs, karate and James Brown impersonations ensue, while Jennifer Love Hewitt gets a paycheck, so good for her. The Tuxedo is on at 10 AM on TBS.
Don't you hate it when your robot gets possessed by aliens? tTotally ruins the day. See how this wee boy deals with it in the 50s classic The Invisible Boy at 2:30 PM on TCM.
Better Off Ted -
Phil and Lem are back, and making fake beef for their pretty bosses. Now that we've already fallen in love with the show's little geeks, it's Portia de Rossi's time to shine as their unflinchingly cold boss. Better Off Ted is on ABC at 8:30 PM.
Ooooh, man, who's ready for the Juliet-versus-Kate "that's my man" throw down? To hell with Sayid's problems, I see a polar-bear-cage mud-wrasslin', hair-pulling fight in the future. Lost is on ABC at 9 PM.
UFO Hunters -
If we're to believe the Race To Witch Mountain theory, then all secret government alien-related bases are actually located underground, or in a mountain. This week The UFO Hunters try and track down the base in Dulce New Mexico, on the History Channel at 10 PM.
Life On Mars -
I fear Sam will continue on with this terrible mustached undercover work as this week the apparent murders of his colleagues Skelton and Carling lead directly to his door. LOM is on ABC at 10 PM.
Ok here's a new fun game: take a shot every time you question Kevin Spacey's judgement, when he decided to take on the role of a sunglasses-wearing alien at a psychiatric facility. KPAX is on at 10:30 AM on USA.
The ridiculously attractive Zatanna makes her curvy cameo on this week's episode of the proto-Superman series. I'm going to have to give the a tip of the top hat to CW, the top heavy character looks like she was ripped out of the comic. Z shows up and grants Chloe's birthday wish (to be more like Lois), so they switch bodies - because there is some unwritten rule in TV series that the characters have to go all Freaky Friday at least once. Smallville is on the CW at 8 PM.
Dean and Sam switch roles with the cast of The Office, but here's the kicker...they have no memory of each other. But not even the cubicle walls can separate the brotherly twosome when things start going all spooky and their office mates start offing themselves. Between Dean thinking Sam is hitting on him and the bowflex in Dean's apartment, this could be my favorite Supernatural ever on the CW at 9 PM.
No new Eleventh Hour.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
Hooray, Charley is back - and Sarah throws Cameron and Derek in the thunder dome to see who survives. In the battle between the vacant-staring hot girl and the 90210 icon, who will win? T:SCC is on Fox at 8 PM.
No new Batman: The Brave And The Bold.
It's back to school for Echo, as our forgetful hero heads to her old stomping grounds to fight a deadly virus, presumably with tight pants and high kicks. As the actives fight the big bad their memories start coming back to them, which could get interesting. Dollhouse is on Fox at 9 PM.
13 Ghosts, not to be confused with the idiotically titled remake Thir13en Ghosts, puts a family inside a haunted house with a real life murderer. That's on at 3:45 AM, over at TCM.
Jack takes David out on a man-date, where Jack tries to dirty up his image with some harmless drug usage and open mouthed kissing. Meanwhile, in the other part of the kingdom, the son Silas really loves is sick. Kings is on NBC at 8 PM.
A mysterious cone lands in Illinois filled with creatures that latch onto humans and seize power. Apparently this movie was adapted without permission from the author of the book with the same plot, and lawyer visits ensued. But I'm intrigued as to how The Brain Eater aliens "distorted" the men - view the classic film at 4 AM on AMC.