Famous names: JOSS!!! WHEDON!!!! OMG Joss will you be my boyfriend? Oh, and John Cassaday.

Crunchy goodness: 4

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The shit: Whedon writes the X-men with the glee of a long-time fan finally getting his hands on the toybox. The storylines are pedestrian, even by X-men standards, but the character beats and dialogue are solid gold.

Life lesson: Black leather isn't really THAT slimming. And bright yellow spandex is kinky in its own way.

Deadliest spoiler: Colossus isn't really dead. Or gay. Actually he is gay, but only in an alternate universe (otherwise known as the XXX video arcade in the alley behind the X-mansion.)

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The X-Axis Review by Paul O'Brien