Famous names: Harlan Ellison, Don Johnson, L.Q. Jones, Jason Robards

Crunchy goodness: 4

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Sights you'll never unsee: Semen. Extracting. Machine.

Life lesson: Take it from David Berkowitz: always listen to the dog.

Deadliest spoiler: She was a girl of impeccable taste.

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Review at BadMovies.org